No Tide of Rudeness

JNP-in Aruba's warm get-away

We reached our island apartment due to thrifty time-share and air fare deals. I snapped a photo of JNP on the second-floor balcony, palm trees behind him.

We were in Aruba with two laptops, notebooks, and iPads, on a working vacation with a massive manuscript in progress. We could hardly believe we had reached yet another place we had never visited before. 

Aruba's friendliness, clear air, breezes and sun made the days fly. We detected the island energy and liveliness, yet there was no hint of emotional disturbances. This added to the effect of an unforgettable get-away.

We ate most meals at the time-share resort, and the dining room staff were always congenial.

When we visited the guest center for discovery ideas, staff never showed annoyance regardless of how many fast or detailed questions flew their way from other guests or us.

In the middle of the eastern coast of the United States, where I live, at times we have rudeness epidemics. In public, positions that once required patience with customers now seem to have stressed employees; customers that most likely used to hold their tongues now spew out complaints.

And, here's the thing. If you are on the bad end of an exchange, you usually have no idea if the behavior is typical of the person launching word missiles at you or if the person is having a bad day, has had a recent grief, has been disappointed or abandoned by an important someone, and so on.

If you or I launch angry-word missiles in return, in any case, a lose-lose situation has been formed, and the losing is likely to escalate into angrier words, sarcasm, or rolling of the eyes, huffing and puffing, and deep ugly frowns.

Before Jim and I left Aruba, I mentioned to one of the dining staff how kind and thoughtful everyone had been.

"We try to be," she answered, smiling. "We have problems, too...we want you to enjoy being here."

Having said that, she changed the conversation to our plans for the day.

She's right. Everyone has problems, including those on "one happy island," Aruba's tourist motto. They are committed to prove true to the island's label.

In public, we can rule out the downward trends of rudeness as a choice. We never know the difference it makes, for we do not know what burdens another carries.

What a treasure is every sign of of kindness. To give and to receive strengthens relationships--whether in the family, marriage, with friends, and at work. I don't mean pablum conversation or checking one's personality at the door, you see.

In fact, it comes down to signs of personal strength to show patience rather than quick sarcasm or outburst. I think you know what I am talking about, if this downward public trend has reached where you are. 

I like a proverb sent to me recently by someone I do not know, on Twitter. It affirmed the worth of each person. It helped my rough day, affirming that to accept one's worth is more important than others' views of you.

If I offend without knowing it, then I can only hope that someone with the strength to confront calmly and kindly will do it.

The friendliest staff in places close to where I live include: Quest Diagnostics, Whole Foods-Center city, Land's End at Sears, Giant Foods, Barnes & Noble coffee and reading area, Einstein's Bagels, U.S. Post Office at 40W, Vicki's Nails, and Twig next door.  I hope their customers are treating them equally as well. I do not dread having blood drawn, you see, because of the calm staff at Quest. Similarly, I look forward to going to the other places listed.

When in public, we never know what other people are facing or how much courage, and possibly faith, they showed by getting up and out that morning.